Life is NOT that complicated.,Item Preview
22/09/ · Life is not complicated--you are: turning your biggest disappointments into your greatest blessings Item Preview SPIRIT Prepare a Procedures Packet If you and your spouse both show and handle the future of your cats in your absence need not be a complicated process. Geneva and Evan have to Coub is YouTube for video loops. You can take any video, trim the best part, combine with other videos, add soundtrack. It might be a funny scene, movie quote, animation, meme or a 25/06/ · This episode is a prelude of the next and talks about the idea that life is NOT that complicated, IF you know where you are going with a suggested plan (which A Sketch of Scottish Industrial and Social History in the 18th and 19th Centuries PDF. A Treatise of Delighting in God PDF. Aaker on Branding PDF. Abogados PDF. Alfred Nobel PDF. Algebra ... read more
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It is never one straight shot from point A to point Z on the road to success. If you think that is the case, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Accept that obstacles are a reality, and you will be better equipped to deal with them. Finally, if have difficulty handling adversity, focus on building your emotional and mental fortitude. Focus on being Fearless. But few realize how much disappointment, rejection, frustration, uncertainty and pressure it takes to get there. But you must be willing to shed a few pounds of flesh in order to someday feast off the fruits of your labor!
VI Disappointment. Yes, we have to talk about it. In order to get a better understanding of how we complicate our lives, we must acknowledge that this demoralizing feeling is an unavoidable reality. While the purpose of this book is to inspire and uplift, to achieve that end we must explore the darkest recesses of our essential nature. Fortunately, this is a journey we can take together. Disappointment is a tie that binds. If you think about it, it is one of few things most, if not all of us have in common simply because we have all experienced disappointment in some form. Whether you were devastated by the loss of a loved one, distraught after being rejected by an employer, frustrated your child is not living up to your expectations, or distressed because your relationship failed, chances are you have been felled by disappointing circumstances.
More times than I care to count. However we need to deal with disappointment and its effects head on. Life becomes less complicated when you do. I will not insult your intelligence by reiterating a concept you may have heard hundreds of times. You may be inclined to believe that this is easier said than done. On the contrary. Forasmuch as you cannot predict if and when you will be disappointed, once it happens you have only two choices: You can either let it consume you, until you become bitter and resentful. Nothing will. What you can change is how long you empower the feeling. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.
Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is. There are so few circumstances in life that require no guesswork whatsoever. Deciding you want your life back after a being disappointed, is one of those times. That greatly limits the complexity! That could not be farther from the truth! I am blessed beyond measure in more ways than I can accurately innumerate in one book. However I have faced my fair share of disappointment, many times by people closest to me. I have been deceived, betrayed, taken advantage of, maligned; friends and family have stolen from me, jeopardized my reputation and tried to undermine me more times than I care to remember. And of course I asked myself how people I trusted and who claimed they loved me could be so cruel? But no matter what the answer, it did not undo the offense. Dwelling on the situation is like walking through drying cement; eventually you get stuck. Instead, I chose to address the issue. I made a mental note, picked myself up and continued living my life.
Yes, I was hurt. Yes, I was confused. Of course I was disappointed. But I had a plan in mind for my life and I could not let the insidious actions of other people take me off course. There was no reason to. I was doing the right thing, pursuing my goals, fulfilling my mission one day at a time. I take care of my children, provide for my family, and run a successful business. I am charitable, generous and kind. I had done nothing wrong. So why would I risk all that, to reward the negative intention of others with more of my valuable time than necessary? The answer is I would not. You control the effect people have over you in literally every aspect of your life. This is your greatest power. No one can keep you where you do not want to be. They may put you there for a brief time, but the decision to open the door, walk out and lock it behind you is solely your own. Today, I have a very tight knit, very small circle of friends and family.
My best friends John John, Lorenza and Vinson and I have been thick as thieves since we were 3 years old. My boy Cody, who I met while in college is the epitome of loyalty and support. I also make it a point to surround myself with other positive people who I trust hold my best interests in as high regard as I hold theirs. People who have proven their loyalty. Disappointment taught me early that every now and then it is prudent to reevaluate my social sphere and that I should protect my personal life vigilantly. I reveal this for one important reason: to remind anyone reading these words that no matter how put together a person may look on the outside, sometimes there are mental and emotional scars buried deep beneath the surface.
When you look at people that appear to have it all together, it is not necessarily because they lead such an easy life. They would rather focus on the things they can change. It is more important to fix the situation than it is to become fixated on it. People who take control, rather than allow themselves to be controlled will always prevail. I urge you to challenge your enemies, instead of being challenged by them. Victims will never be victorious. They are too vulnerable; they are open wounds that allow the infectious nature of others to poison their thinking.
We have only to look beyond our personal feelings about a person or action in order to discover a lesson. I had no clue why my parents would lay the burden of paying a bill in our household on my shoulders at eleven, this was like moving the rock of Gibraltar. But, I did not question them. I did what I had to do in order to make the situation work for me. Finding out later that there was a method to their thinking that transcended anything I would have surmised, affirms that taking the high road benefited everyone. When faced with such uncertainty, or painful experiences, you must do your best to look beyond the actual event. Focus on your role in the experience. Think it out. Ask yourself how can I prevail, how can I make this work in my favor, how can I turn this around. No matter how angry you are about being mistreated or slighted, you will not change the fact that it happened.
Therefore, it will only behoove you to make it work for you. If you lose your job, do not wallow. Wallowing never paid the mortgage. Tap into your strengths and think of ways to make ends meet while you work on getting another full-time job. If your kids are misbehaving, teach them hard life lessons. Stop asking what you did wrong and tell them in no uncertain terms why their behavior is not right. That may mean denying them the little extras they feel they are entitled to and showing them that if they want something, they have to earn it with good behavior. Take control. You are the parent. My mom never asked me if I wanted to pay the cable bill. She told me to do it. If I wanted to live there, I had to fall in line. If you can train yourself to be actionable instead of reactionary, you will break out of the negative space that is typically furnished with fear, uncertainty and inaction, and move into that peaceful zone of determination, power, decisiveness and growth.
This is why it is so important to arm yourself with the belief you control your destiny no matter what happens around you. When I worked as a Corrections Officer on Death Row of the Texas Department of Corrections — Institutions Division, it never ceased to amaze me, how some of these men, sentenced to die, refused to let their circumstances weigh them down. Truth of the matter is, most clarity follows the darkest moments. We bounce around, feeling our way through difficult issues, navigating complex relationships, gaining a better understanding of self through emotion and reason. Sometimes the revelation is within reach; other times we have to look deeper.
Still, when the lesson manifests itself make sure you seriously, carefully consider the message and make the necessary changes so the difficult journey to this answer was not in vain. With that kind of positive thinking, there is absolutely no room for Disappointment. The personalities of most adults have been etched by years of victories and disappointments, joys and sorrows. Embrace what is good, and accept you will not like everything about them. If you love them try to find balance. No one is perfect. In the end, the only thing you have control over, is you and how you choose to deal with others. VII While compiling research for this book, I referred to my favorite authors and academics.
I read books by Don Miguel Ruiz, Joel Osteen, Eckhart Tolle, and Deepak Chopra. I examined poetry by Dr. Maya Angelou, Langston Hughes, and Nikki Giovani. I studied the tragedies of Shakespeare and the detailed epics of Toni Morrison. I reflected on the teachings of the Bible, my most valuable resource. Without this knowledge, I would have been unable to write this chapter. Moreover, I would not have been able to assist someone close to me. Just when you think you are so set in your ways that nothing, and no one, can change one ounce of your personality, you learn that sometimes you have to give a little in order to gain so much more.
People are who they are. If you are not happy with someone, perhaps he or she is not the one for you. This holds true for significant others, friends and even co-workers. I am not suggesting that you quit your job in order to ditch dealing with a colleague. However, do your best to separate business matters from personal interaction. Now, if you have an open mind and are able and willing to communicate your concerns, well this creates a different scenario. Giving that one inch can make a world of difference. Sometimes it can also reveal things about others and yourself that can alter your life.
We are all works in progress. Sadly, the most troubled among us are those who do not recognize their faults and limitations, yet are quick to point out what they consider frailties in other people. These tortured souls are hard to identify because they seem perfect on the outside. However, they are as flawed as the next person is. By the way, never believe anyone is better off than you based on appearances. I believe one of the greatest blessings God has granted me and there are quite a few is my ability and willingness to learn from all I observe, encounter or experience. I say this is a blessing because far too often we focus so much on our own lives, we overlook the needs and wants of those closest to us.
I am not suggesting this is a bad thing. I am just pointing out that if we fail to look beyond what is right under our nose we may miss an opportunity to understand and help someone whose pain lies beneath the surface. Case in point: a stunning revelation from one of my best friends unleashed a reality check so powerful, it sent shockwaves through my emotions, and I am not an emotional person. The epiphany redefined our friendship. It occurred about a time that I noticed he was just not himself. Typically gregarious and affable, there was something a little off about his behavior. He seemed disconnected and uncharacteristically sad. I had not seen him in some time and just assumed he just had a lot on his mind.
He was just promoted to a management position, recently bought a new house and had been blessed with a new child. One evening, I received a disturbing phone call. The bartender at a local spot my buddy and I frequented, especially during football season, urged me to come immediately because my friend was dangerously intoxicated and insisted on driving home. I promptly beat a path to our hangout, confused and concerned that someone I would trust with my life, had obviously lost all regard for his own. Back in college, if anyone had exhibited this kind of behavior, this guy would have read them the riot act. Recklessness was never part of his repertoire. When I arrived, I pressed him for an explanation. I was hoping it was something as simple as stress from work or a misunderstanding at home.
I could not have been more mistaken. He sobered up a bit, and we talked. I found out why his behavior had become so erratic. The revelation hit me like a freight train. He admitted that for much of his adult life, he suffered from clinical depression, and the illness had become unmanageable. The blank stare on my face clearly said it all. I had my very first, personal introduction to this crippling illness. So, what, he was depressed? It was knowing that this man, who never showed weakness, sadness or frustration, had a vulnerability. Yet, despite that vulnerability, he was still the same great person. My perception about how people handle issues and difficult situations needed an upgrade. On some level an overhaul! You see, I was raised to believe nothing is insurmountable. I tackle issues head on, without complaints or wallowing in despair.
I have a deep-seated urge to find the positive in every situation. And here was a man who had a great job, who was educated, raised in a good home, had an extraordinary family. By all accounts, this was the ideal individual. How could he find a reason to be unhappy? What could be that bad? It seemed inconceivable to me that he could not appreciate how good he had it! However, I was judging him based on a condition I did not understand. After we talked though, I began to shed my preconceived notions and took the time to learn more about this medical condition. It was important for me to write about this experience, because I now know depression is a very common form of mental illness. You never know who may be suffering with the condition. Because of the stigma attached, you may never realize that mood swings, constant unhappiness and feelings of despair belie a very serious chemical imbalance.
By not telling me right away, he did not give me the information I needed to understand or help him. I could not have his back because I did not know what he was facing. As it turns out, we helped each other. The realization was so liberating. It was sincerely a moment of mental and emotional deliverance. I was emancipated from a state of mind that threatened to hold me back. He discovered that he did not have to fight the illness alone. I now understand that even the strongest among us including me can succumb to circumstances beyond our control, and that is ok.
Today, I am very sensitive about depression and its effects. Having a bad day does not make you depressed. Being sad your team lost does not make you depressed. A flash of frustration or short-term sadness does not necessarily qualify as depression. Talk with someone about your feelings. You are not alone. Today, if you do not do anything else, make a list of your lifelines. People or activities you can turn to that give you an extra push or added motivation. It is critical that you focus on the people and activities that make you happy. We can make as many excuses as we would like to explain why we wallow in bouts of misery but if we are honest with ourselves we know …it is a choice. Plain and simple. I know that some choices are much more difficult than others are.
Ultimately, the final arbiter of how you live your life is you. You do not have to associate with negative people. You do not have to hold that grudge. You do not have to be with someone who does not value you. You do not have to tolerate or do a single thing that does not encourage peace, and calm, and contentment in your life. We are such powerful beings! In addition, we are guided and protected by an Almighty Creator. Imagine the things we could do and the thoughts that would prevail, and the comforting feelings that would wash over us if we remained faithful and accepted how much we are in control of our lives!
You must get right with you in order to do what is right for you. Most times, it is not the world or people around us that are in chaos or causing turmoil. That confusion often comes from within. Take a moment, take a breath, and take the time you need to know yourself. Speak love and kindness into your own heart. Stop looking for external remedies to cure your internal pain. Be still. Quiet the noise. Embrace how absolutely, positively, incontrovertibly amazing you are, and live your life accordingly. In the end, it is so important to remain encouraged, and to be a source of encouragement, and to know that in your darkest moments God has provided you with light. That light is your friends. That light is your circle of loved ones. That light is that voice within that reminds you, no matter how badly you may feel now you will heal.
You will overcome. Sometimes, the light comes when and from someone- you least expect. Do not suffer in silence. You must always make sure the lines of communication are wide open and accept your light is within reach. Sometimes it is just a phone call away. In addition, when you can, be the light someone else may need. Listen to your heart, be selfless, heal a friend and embrace the signs that may some day put them on a healing course toward Deliverance. You will find that they are unreasonably high, or set so low you should consider it an insult. Be your own bar. Decide how you will reach your goal. Then no one can lay claim to your success. Do not worry about meeting the standard when you are the standard. Think about how many times you and I struggle with our own inner conflicts? Those moments when we search our souls for the right decisions about life, family and love.
Scared to death that the choices we make will possibly change our lives. I have been torn on occasion between making the right decision and choosing the option that I know will make me delirious with satisfaction. If you smiled at the latter then we are on the same page. That choice we think will bring us the sweet taste of vindication probably involves someone being on the receiving end of cosmic retribution. Therefore, I think it is safe to say, we have all lived through our own personal Hamlet at one time or another. Of all the things I have desired in my lifetime, success, happiness, love, respect , thankfully the validation of others has never been among them. I possess the prodigious ability to be indifferent to the opinion of others. This attitude could be mistaken as me being aloof. As a matter of fact when I explain this aspect of my personality to people I am getting to know -and even to those whom I have been friends with for some time- they often suggest I am unfeeling or narcissistic.
That is not the case. I live to honor the memory of my parents, my grandparents and my uncle Rube Earl, who was one of my best friends up until the day he died. In order to do so, I have to be aware of how I am perceived by those closest to me and by business partners, colleagues and clients. My family would settle for nothing less than respectability, integrity, discipline kindness and compassion. And for the most part, I believe I comply. What I do not do is kowtow to those who disagree with my opinions or my life simply because it differs from their own. I do not live my life to please others and neither should you. This does not make you arrogant. This simply allows you to determine who you are without being sidetracked by what outsiders think you should be.
Everyone needs this assuredness or else they risk constantly second-guessing themselves, their goals and even their lives. Only you can decide what is in your best interest and pandering to the interests of others will only impede your progress. This confidence actually allows me to maintain complex relationships. Experience has shown me that you will always fare better in life and with others when you know, trust and follow your own mind. Great freedom stems from the realization you absolutely do not have to be bound by what people think about you and your decisions. It reinforces self-confidence and encourages you to think beyond the boundaries of the status quo.
Do most people prefer to be liked? Well sure! But realistically, not everyone is going to like you and you will not always please everyone. Therefore, it is important for you to reach a level of self-awareness and confidence that will offset some of the resistance you may face. Appreciate the accolades but do not be disillusioned by the critics. Find a healthy median and realize that neither should be the final arbiter of who you are. Some people live most of their lives with a crippling need to be liked and accepted by everyone. Yes, I said everyone. I have friends who know, lets say, people. Ninety-nine adore them. The one person they cannot reach becomes an obsession; it could be a colleague or an audience member at a comedy show, or in the case of one friend who is a t-v anchor, a viewer who does not like her hair or outfit one day. One negative assessment completely offsets any positive feedback. Suffice it to say engaging that stream of consciousness wears them out.
One friend admitted that some days her brain would just about short circuit as she tried to decipher why she could not tickle the fancies of that select few. It took a toll on her mood and health as well. Another great drawback with this way of thinking is, while you are busy focusing on your critics, you are discounting the people who appreciate you. More importantly, you are overlooking the only person whose opinion frames your life: You. It is irrational to give people you barely know, or who have no interest in your life, control over your moods. Whether it is your boss, a family member or someone you are in a relationship with, no one can prevent you from accomplishing great things but you! The same power you give to people that you claim hold you back, use to knock them out of your way! Furthermore, while the unfavorable judgments of a few should not disappoint you, the flattery of many while fantastic should not delight you.
Remember, the more you have to proclaim how great, smart, talented and desirable people say you are, the less you truly believe it. This self-assuredness can only come if your inner-voice is the loudest. Your thoughts should be free flowing and uninterrupted by the musings of unsolicited commentators. The best way to accomplish that is to set up filters; a metaphorical mental fortress that separates what you hear from the receptors in your brain. Moreover, make sure the only person who controls what stimuli penetrate that fortress is you. The power of mind over matter must be developed over time. Strengthened like a muscle. You have to learn how to trust your own judgment, follow your instincts and act on your own accord.
It is not only mental. There must be a balance of mind, body and heart. You must learn to understand why you need the validation and acceptance of others in order to exist. That is a journey only you can take and questions only you can answer. The big risk you take with deep reflection is, you may not like the answers that rise to the surface. Still it is better to walk in clarity than it is to stumble aimlessly in darkness. If you are willing to delve deeply and sift through the noise, clutter, restlessness, pain and uncertainty taking up space within you, you will eventually find answers. Only then will you be able to deal with your issues. When you resurface, you will have such peace. I have a feeling, if we treated most people exactly the way they treat us, they would learn to be a lot nicer.
Contrarily, killing them with kindness could bury undesirable actions as well. Give people enough leeway to treat you poorly, they will take full advantage. Some folks are prepared to do anything they can get away with, especially if in the end it suits their sensibilities. Bottom line is, nasty is nasty. Rude is rude. Disrespect is disrespect, any way you look at it. Take or better yet, take back complete ownership of your feelings. Demand respect and enforce that requisite consistently. You may believe you need to conform to others. The flip side is that people do not have to conform to you.
We are ultimately beholden to ourselves. Now, the people who care and matter? Well, they will respect us for whom we are and conduct themselves accordingly, compromising when they need to because you are worth it. And so should we. I am not suggesting you shut everyone out. You need input sometimes, especially from people you trust. You also determine what to discard. We cannot call ourselves adults or masters of our own destiny if we are always looking for people to co-sign our every move. It is hard enough meeting your OWN expectations sometimes. Why add the burden of trying to reach those people who either do not have their own life together. or a genuine interest in your well being? Just be who you are. Now when you decide that you are strong enough to take that path, own it. Be responsible for the decision.
If you are not willing to accept the person you have chosen to be, in any form, you certainly cannot expect others to. Draw the line and walk it, proudly. That is your greatest Validation. FREEDOM Most clarity follows the darkest moments. We bump around, feeling our way through difficult issues, gaining a better understanding of self through emotion and reason. Every experience, interaction, conversation has a lesson within. Sometimes the revelation is within reach; other times we must look deeper. When it manifests itself, make sure you seriously, carefully consider the message, so the difficult journey toward this answer was not in vain. IX Freedom. Depending on whom you ask, the word can mean many things. I believe our broad understanding of the concept of freedom is as comprehensive as the word itself.
Literally, freedom is defined as an absence of limitations whether it is in choice, speech, religion or political affiliation. I find that description to be too rigid and confining to do the word justice. Personally, I regard freedom as one of the most fluid, liberating and empowering motivators any one person can enjoy. Ultimately, it allows us to live an unburdened and largely uncomplicated life. To some, it seems freedom comes easily. However, few realize how much disappointment, rejection, frustration and pressure it takes to get to this state of mental and emotional salvation.
Do not be deterred by that caveat. It is all right and quite essential to hunger and break a sweat for anything you desire. Passion for something you desire is a potent catalyst. However, you must be willing to shed a few pounds of flesh in order to someday feast off the fruits of your labor. Inasmuch as there are varied interpretations of what freedom is and how it can be attained, I will speak from my personal experience in order to demonstrate that the sublime, life-affirming results this ethos promises can be found in the most unlikely and sometimes tragic circumstances.
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Download Hungama Music app to get access to unlimited free mp3 songs, free movies, music album, latest music videos, online radio, new TV shows and much more at Hungama. Listen to 22/09/ · Life is not complicated--you are: turning your biggest disappointments into your greatest blessings Item Preview He’s Not That Complicated By Eric Charles & Sabrina Alexis Tags: Relationship About The Author Donna Jean I really hope to make our world more bright, beautiful and kind. Feel free A Sketch of Scottish Industrial and Social History in the 18th and 19th Centuries PDF. A Treatise of Delighting in God PDF. Aaker on Branding PDF. Abogados PDF. Alfred Nobel PDF. Algebra Coub is YouTube for video loops. You can take any video, trim the best part, combine with other videos, add soundtrack. It might be a funny scene, movie quote, animation, meme or a 25/06/ · This episode is a prelude of the next and talks about the idea that life is NOT that complicated, IF you know where you are going with a suggested plan (which ... read more
A flash of frustration or short-term sadness does not necessarily qualify as depression. Nora Roberts's Circle Trilogy PDF. The Complete Writings of Constantine Smaltz Rafinesque on Recent and Fossil Conchology PDF. Are you sure you want to unsubscribe? Whether you were devastated by the loss of a loved one, distraught after being rejected by an employer, frustrated your child is not living up to your expectations, or distressed because your relationship failed, chances are you have been felled by disappointing circumstances. He admitted that for much of his adult life, he suffered from clinical depression, and the illness had become unmanageable.
Visions de Vie Tome1 PDF. Your thoughts should be free flowing and uninterrupted by the musings of unsolicited commentators. Diary PDF. Sandwich Island Notes PDF. Item Preview. Our job as parents was to take care of you, and we did.
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